Do you value trustworthyness?

This time I wish to share something unusual!!

Emotional Bank Account (EBA), I am going to share about is not anyway related to finance yet is more important than money actually. It is an account of trust instead of money. It's an account based on how safe you feel with another person. With money you can buy any material things of your like but certainly not the relationship. You can build a true relationship with anyone only when you possess one with you. Our life is worth living because of we make and sustain many relations pertaining to personal, professional, business, societal or like many others. 

Covey identifies six ways to make deposits (or reduce withdrawals):
1) Understanding the Individual: This means listening intently to what the other person is saying and empathizing with how they may feel. It’s important to care for others and act with kindness toward them.
2) Keeping Commitments: How do you feel when someone arrives right on time when you have a meeting? How about when people simply do what they say they will do? You build up an emotional reserve by keeping your commitments.

3) Clarifying Expectations: We are not mind readers, and yet we consistently expect others to know what we expect of them. Communicating our expectations can help create a higher level of trust. When we ask for what we want, and we get it, we can then trust a little more.

4) Attending to the Little Things: Don’t you find that the little things tend to become the BIG things when they do not receive our attention? Doing the little things is how we honour and show respect for others. Small kindnesses, a smile, a little extra effort, and a hug, doing something you didn’t “have” to: these are the things that build trust.

5) Showing Personal Integrity: Integrity is the moral floor upon which trusting relationships are built. When we operate with sound moral character, it makes it so easy for others to trust us.

6) Apologizing When We Make a Withdrawal: We will make mistakes; it’s part of life. But when you see you have violated a trust, sincerely apologizing is how we make a deposit to counteract the damage we have done.

When your trust level is high, because you’ve made lots of deposits, communication is almost effortless. You can be yourself, and others understand and appreciate you. Then, when you make mistakes or offend someone unexpectedly, you draw on that reserve and the relationship still maintains a solid level of trust. 

Conversely, when you are discourteous, disrespect others, interrupt others, speak sarcastically or ignore others, your emotional bank account becomes overdrawn because you have jeopardized the trust level. When the trust level is low, you have to be very careful of what you say; you tend to be more political.  

Our most precious relationships (with our spouse, kids, friends and boss) require constant deposits, because those relationships continue to grow and change, and with these changes come new expectations. If you have a teenager at home, you may make several withdrawals in just one day! As your marriage evolves, your roles and responsibilities may change, and your work and home lives may change over time because of career changes or kids moving out or back in. These relationships require constant investment. 

So, following as quick tips help maintain a positive EBA;

·        Keep promises you make even of a small nature, example to call back.
·        Respond quickly for any help sought by anyone, it may be in ‘yes’ or ‘No’.
·        Keep in touch with your relations even if you do not require any help from them, especially on
          special occasions.
·         Do not allow ego to come in because of difference of position, status etc.
·        Try to be ‘right’ rather ‘good’
·        Diffuse the misunderstanding if any by clarification.
·        Be transparent, learn to say sorry too.

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